Perfect Movies: The ‘Burbs
If there are two things I love in this life, it’s comedy and living in the suburbs. The comedy part is easy enough to understand: because funny things are funny. But why the suburbs? For one, I’m neither a city nor country mouse: I’ve lived the rural life and found it boring and very briefly…
Hellraiser
There’s something very disturbing about the monsters of Hellraiser, and it’s not just their looks (although that aspect of them is terrifying). It’s that they’re so…calm. Almost like they’re bored with the idea of having to rip your soul apart, an unwanted detour on their path to the next extreme S&M party they’re hosting. Unlike…
Great TV: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Bad movies made for Great TV with Mystery Science Theater 3000. Not to get too meta this early in the article (that comes later), but the telescoped concept of MST3K—where a frame is placed on top of a frame, in this case the medium of television watching three figures watch and comment on a movie…
The Unstoppable Horror of the 21st Century: 9/11, Cinema, and The Future
This article was originally published on September 11, 2019. Outside of slight formatting and copy editing for grammar, the article stands as it was originally published. For readers of this site, I have written extensively on the horror genre. While mostly in a humorous manner, live-recapping horror films as I watched them, I have a…
10 Garbage TV Shows From The 1980’s
Listen: television is a cesspool. You know it, I know it, hell even TV knows it. Instead of the respect, promotion, and (especially) money that gets pumped into creating films, television has traditionally been the ghetto of visual entertainment. Even paintings – images that don’t even move, for cripes sake – get entire buildings in…
10 More Garbage TV Shows From The 80’s
Television knows how to make great TV…now. Before the present day, however, TV was considered a second-class form of entertainment that beginners and has-beens would work in. But considering how much money was being pumped into TV, and how much garbage was being produced with all that money, it’s hard to feel sympathetic about the…
Mr. Belvedere – “Triangle”
Streaks on the china/Never mattered before/Who cares?/When you drop-kicked your jacket/As you enter the door/No one glared/But sometimes things get turned around/And no one’s spaaaared! I know the whole damn theme song of Mr. Belvedere by heart; I often sing it in a weird affected voice like Leon Redbone to the amusement/annoyance of my family…
Cult Classics: Grindhouse
The lurid exploitation films of the 1960s, 70s, and 80s gave cheap thrills to filmgoing audiences looking to make out in the back seats of the theater or their cars, see a few gross kill-shots and grungy effects, or else enjoy the well-tread tropes and hackneyed cinematography that these films promised. Their enjoyment by cinephiles…
Step By Step – “J.T.’s World”
To call Step By Step stupid is an insult to stupidity: this lazy rehash of The Brady Bunch is about a blended family, thanks to the overzealous and impulsive marriage between two people (Suzanne Somers and Patrick Duffy) after they meet on vacation. Thing is, both of them have a shitload of kids of their…
TGIF Revisited: Family Matters – “Life of the Party”
It’s a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page. At least that’s what the catchy theme song to Family Matters says. Then again, this is the same show that gave us the Urkelbot, Stefan Urquelle, and The Urkel Dance. If you can discern a pattern here, it’s…
10 Radical 90s Movies That Captured The Decade
O 1990s America, where art thou? This fantastic decade – the last of the American Century that found the country at the height of its powers economically, socially, and politically – can easily be considered a high watermark in American history. With a booming economy, a culture that was dominating the world through its film…
8 Beloved 90s TV Shows That Were Terrible
Listen: it’s not very positive to look back at the nostalgic past and trash shows that large swaths of people cherish. But this is the internet and being negative and mean about things pulls more traffic than positive articles, so here we are. Besides this, even though the 1990s is enjoying a nostalgia boom due…
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