Tag: James Bond
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Breaking the Bonds 2: Franchise Conclusion
Well, I did it: it took me two and a half months, but I finally watched and wrote a humor recap of every single James Bond movie, including one non-canonical one. And now that I’m done, I have to say: that was a long, long series of films to get through. Over two and a…
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Spectre
Here we are, at the 24th James Bond film in the franchise, and I am excited. Mostly because after this recap, I am done with my self-imposed exile into James Bond Land and can move onto another project, but also because I am completely Bond-ed out at this point. Look: I love the franchise, I…
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Skyfall
Second-to-last Bond movie to date and I’m really excited, not only because I’ve heard this is a good one but also because this damn project will soon come to a close. It’s great that there have been 24 movies in this franchise so far, but my God has it been a trek to get through…
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Quantum of Solace
We open on a sweeping helicopter zipping up to a green mountain and also some cars that are also zipping around this mountain. It’s Bond, and he’s being chased by some dudes that are firing machine guns at him and fucking up stuff in general. A truck is hit and crashes into Bond and…
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Die Another Day
It’s the last Brosnan outing, and since every one of his Bond entries has gotten progressively worse, I’m guessing that this is going to be scraping the bottom of the barrel, considering the last one, The World Is Not Enough, was the second-worst Bond film I’ve seen so far in this little project. Oh the…
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Goldeneye
I bid a fond farewell to Timothy Dalton’s Bond (which was excellent) and welcome Pierce Brosnan as the fifth James Bond in the franchise. I really enjoyed the Goldeneye N64 game in my youth, so I kind of know the broad strokes of this movie. But I’m also leery of it because it involves some…
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The Living Daylights
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more! Having recharged from my 15-movie James Bond marathon in November, I’ve rallied to finish the series before New Year’s. This time, I’m filled with holiday cheer (mostly booze), so let’s have a little Bond-ing time. This round, it’s Timothy Dalton’s first outing as Bond in The…
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Breaking the Bonds: Conclusion
Before starting this project, in my mind James Bond movies were ones of fun escapism, where we’re whisked away to exotic landscapes and following a protagonist who’s sexy, suave, and smarter than your average bear as he saves the world again and again single-handed. The reality of watching 15 Bond movies within 30 days showed…
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Never Say Never Again
Like Ouroboros eating its own tail or the infinity sign trapped in a never-ending loop, I’m concluding this session of Breaking the Bonds by starting back with the Bond that began it all: with Sean Connery, in his last appearance–official or otherwise–as James Bond. This movie is a non-canonical (i.e. non-Eon Productions) entry in the…
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Octopussy
Here we are at unlucky number 13 in the James Bond series, the ridiculously named Octopussy. Considering that the last film was pretty OK, I’m expecting this one to be kind of terrible. But let’s leave the judgment for when I’m actually watching it! We open on a military base, where gear is being directed…
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For Your Eyes Only
After taking a day to consult the I Ching and speak with various priests and rabbis (unrelated), I’m back to Bond after the moving disaster Moonraker. So here we are: For Your Eyes Only. And we open up on…a cemetery? Bond is bringing flowers to his wife’s grave, which is actually a pretty tender moment…
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Moonraker
Hoo boy, here we are: at what I have been warned is possibly the worst Bond movie ever made. Considering the yo-yo dynamics of the Bond franchise, I guess I should be expecting this one to be a stinker since the last one was so excellent. So I take a deep breath, say a little…
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